Amy Gahran, “Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life”

Social norms vs. personal agency

The strong social taboos against consensual nonmonogamy make it difficult for some people to grasp the concept that intimate partners might be able to consent to nonmonogamy. This choice is sometimes interpreted as an intrinsic moral violation, or perhaps even a logical impossibility. Thus, consensual nonmonogamy is often called “cheating” — just with “permission.”

This illustrates the power of social norms to deny personal agency. Many people believe that it’s not up to partners to decide for themselves whether they might be cheating.