Amy Gahran, “Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life”

Escalator is everyone’s goal

It’s widely assumed that a lifelong Escalator relationship must be everyone’s goal. So, if someone falls or jumps off the Escalator, typically they’re expected to seek a new Escalator partner — eventually, if not immediately.

If someone hopes to attract an Escalator partner, it might appear suspicious or threatening, or at least unhealthy, if they maintain strong, positive connections with former partners — even if sex and/or romance are currently out of that picture.

Positive afterships are commonly viewed as signs that perhaps someone “hasn’t really moved on,” or that they might even be hoping to “rekindle an old flame.” That might seem to limit the chances for a new Escalator to take root and to eventually take over as the unquestioned top priority.