Amy Gahran, “Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life”
Consent is a process
Consent is an ongoing process, not a one-time choice. As circumstances and feelings evolve, people may change their minds about what they want in their relationships, and what they are willing or able to consent to. “You signed up for this” is often used to silence partners who attempt to renegotiate rules — by implying that consent, once given, is irrevocable.
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In the context of intimacy, full consent is an ongoing process, not a one-time decision. Partners remain free to ask questions, negotiate and renegotiate. Where choices are presented as irrevocable, unquestionable or take-it-or-leave-it, consent becomes doubtful — especially for relationships that have become established or emotionally invested.