Amy Gahran, “Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life”

Relationship Escalator as the standard

The default bundle of societal expectations for intimate relationships. Partners follow a progressive set of steps, each with visible milestones and markers, toward a clear goal.

The Escalator is the standard by which most people gauge whether an intimate relationship is significant, serious, good, healthy, committed or worthy of effort.

The goal at the top of the Escalator is to achieve a permanently monogamous relationship: sexually and romantically exclusive between only two people. In addition, Escalator partners are expected to live together permanently, and to have their relationship legally sanctioned and publicly recognized — typically via legal marriage.

Partners are expected to remain together at the top of the Escalator until death.
Common related (but not as heavily required) Escalator milestones include shared ownership of a home, combined finances and having kids together.