Amy Gahran, “Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life”

Stealing recourses

The default relationship hierarchy of mainstream culture typically ranks friendship as a lower priority than an Escalator partnership. Therefore, friendships that involve significant shared time, logistical entwinement that is not purely for convenience, or other substantial commitments are, in a way, unconventional intimate relationships. That is, they might be perceived as “stealing” time, attention, energy and resources that “should” be devoted to one’s current or potential Escalator relationship.